Hey all,
Yesterday was my birthday. I was proved again why planing a party or trying to do anything special never works for me. Sure there were a few texts , Facebook posts and 1 call, but otherwise the day passed with little fanfare and a lot of disappointment. The one person who really has nothing to do all day, who by the way had been excited about hanging out, never responded to any texts and then went on to say how much they loved me. Well the old adage of "it's actions not words" rings true.
Ok I might just be a little tough on this person. They do work the night shift and does have to sleep weird hours. However, as actions speak more than words, this hurt. What also hurt is no gifts. Not that I need anything or had something specific in mind that I wanted, but that doesn't mean that someone (ie my husband) doesn't know what I like or had a list of things I wanted him to look for online. Instead of doing that he went to bed early every night. So when he got me my card, all he got was a box of chocolates. No real thought, just something there he grabbed to have something to give me. Now it's a nice thought and we did go out to dinner, which is something we don't always do. So it was a nice night and he tried. Still it would have been nice for something more thoughtful.
Granted I am having a party over the weekend. There are plans most of the weekend to help me celebrate. Even that though is not a source of happiness as it should. Some family members who go on about how they wanted to be around family and be there for special events for their family as well as for us, the extended family. Well almost 8 years ago (coincidentally, the last time I ever tried to do something on my birthday) same person as well as others put a bowling game in more importance then letting me plan my party on when I really had wanted it. I had to plan it on another day. Not so bad not having it on the day I turned 30, didn't have to be on the day so things worked out. Now all these years later, again actions speak, and bowling is on a different day and once again interfering with this family member coming. Though it could change and they would show up, it's still disappointing. Mentally I know that if it wasn't the first night and they would forfeit the game, the fact that that is more important to them then showing up and being there for me hurts. What also hurts is said family member stated that if I hadn't had the nerve to have a party the way I wanted, and just had family party like the rest of the family got, they would be there.
On top of that now people who once stated they were going are now backing out. So again as much as words are nice, it's the actions that speak. So once again something that was supposed to be a happy nice occasion being tempered b those not attending.
What also speaks is that on Facebook, whenever it's someone's birthday I make a point of saying happy birthday. Even if it's not someone who is a close friend or family. I do it. The fact that besides those who are closest to me, not one birthday wish. Of course now posting thanks to those who wished me a happy birthday, more people are sending wishes. In other words, not people who are sincere. So either I really don't mean anything at all to these people, or there are that many people who are that self absorbed they can't read their Facebook notices that reminds them of friends birthdays. It's not like they are not on it anyway posting or checking their wall. It just pisses me off that it just seems like I don't mean anything to people and their feelings, even if I'm not close means something to me. Got a lot of soul searching to do I guess.
I know it sounds like that I am depressed in these last few posts, but I'm not. I'm disgusted.
Yesterday was my birthday. I was proved again why planing a party or trying to do anything special never works for me. Sure there were a few texts , Facebook posts and 1 call, but otherwise the day passed with little fanfare and a lot of disappointment. The one person who really has nothing to do all day, who by the way had been excited about hanging out, never responded to any texts and then went on to say how much they loved me. Well the old adage of "it's actions not words" rings true.
Ok I might just be a little tough on this person. They do work the night shift and does have to sleep weird hours. However, as actions speak more than words, this hurt. What also hurt is no gifts. Not that I need anything or had something specific in mind that I wanted, but that doesn't mean that someone (ie my husband) doesn't know what I like or had a list of things I wanted him to look for online. Instead of doing that he went to bed early every night. So when he got me my card, all he got was a box of chocolates. No real thought, just something there he grabbed to have something to give me. Now it's a nice thought and we did go out to dinner, which is something we don't always do. So it was a nice night and he tried. Still it would have been nice for something more thoughtful.
Granted I am having a party over the weekend. There are plans most of the weekend to help me celebrate. Even that though is not a source of happiness as it should. Some family members who go on about how they wanted to be around family and be there for special events for their family as well as for us, the extended family. Well almost 8 years ago (coincidentally, the last time I ever tried to do something on my birthday) same person as well as others put a bowling game in more importance then letting me plan my party on when I really had wanted it. I had to plan it on another day. Not so bad not having it on the day I turned 30, didn't have to be on the day so things worked out. Now all these years later, again actions speak, and bowling is on a different day and once again interfering with this family member coming. Though it could change and they would show up, it's still disappointing. Mentally I know that if it wasn't the first night and they would forfeit the game, the fact that that is more important to them then showing up and being there for me hurts. What also hurts is said family member stated that if I hadn't had the nerve to have a party the way I wanted, and just had family party like the rest of the family got, they would be there.
On top of that now people who once stated they were going are now backing out. So again as much as words are nice, it's the actions that speak. So once again something that was supposed to be a happy nice occasion being tempered b those not attending.
What also speaks is that on Facebook, whenever it's someone's birthday I make a point of saying happy birthday. Even if it's not someone who is a close friend or family. I do it. The fact that besides those who are closest to me, not one birthday wish. Of course now posting thanks to those who wished me a happy birthday, more people are sending wishes. In other words, not people who are sincere. So either I really don't mean anything at all to these people, or there are that many people who are that self absorbed they can't read their Facebook notices that reminds them of friends birthdays. It's not like they are not on it anyway posting or checking their wall. It just pisses me off that it just seems like I don't mean anything to people and their feelings, even if I'm not close means something to me. Got a lot of soul searching to do I guess.
I know it sounds like that I am depressed in these last few posts, but I'm not. I'm disgusted.
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