waiting

Hey all !!

      I am trying to be patient and let the doc office get back to me, but don't know if I'm succeeding. Yesterday being a day off (finally) for me turned into taking care of a bunch of things. I was excited and proud of myself (at little anyway) for getting all this stuff done and getting to have lunch with my Sis, whom I haven't seen in a while. Of course the stuff turned into a disaster as almost everything I picked up at the store wasn't right or deemed not good enough for some reason or another. So after being belittled and made to feel that I was stupid for not knowing that what I was getting was wrong, an attempt to apologize just kind of  feel flat. So not in the best of moods and really hope the medicine I seem to need right now gets approved and I get it soon.

Feeling annoyed

Hey All


        Feeling annoyed today. Had a back and forth with my Doctors office. All I am wanting is them to leave me a script for a medication I already had been on and want to get back on for awhile. I also want a blood work order to test my levels. As 2 of the big reasons they say I might be having the hair loss issue is stress and off levels for hormones. Put off going in for overtime in case can get the info and still don't have an answer. May have one on Thursday, but I want it before then.

Making the best of it

Hey All,

       Tried to post this last night, but blogger wasn't cooperating. I made use of the quiet Sunday afternoon after attending Mass. I typed up the first chapter of the Susan and Mark story, as they wouldn't get out of my head until I did:-D I also worked on typing up some of the Tess and Troy story. Didn't get too much on that, but 3 pages on the first. So over all not a lot done, but made use of the time to make sure I got something done.

finally

Hey All !!!


           Finally felt up to posting something. Also finally had something to post about too. On a professional note, my horoscope couldn't have been more right yesterday. It said something about being creative and giving into that side of myself as it wouldn't be ignored. No soon then maybe an hour after reading that did it come true. I was walking down the sidewalk in front of my office, on my way in, when an idea popped into my head and wouldn't let go. It just gripped me and was all consuming .  Thank goodness the day started off slow (which for getting paid per call and doing an hour of overtime wasn't good) as I got to write the idea down in rough format. For this book there is research to be done, but haven't figured out details yet. Though I can introduce you to the new characters taking center stage. Meet Mark Hartman and Susan Delaney. Mark is a fireman and Susan is a office assistant in an office building across from Mark's firehouse. That's all I can tempt you with regarding this new development. It's too new to share more as the characters haven't given me much yet.

         On a personal note, I am sad. Have been for awhile, which is why things haven't been worked on and no blog postings. Yesterday I had a hair appointment anyway, but had to cut my hair short and am not too thrilled with having to do so. Not saying it looks bad, or that my hairdresser did a bad job on it. I just never wanted to go back to having short hair again. However, the thinning of it has progressed to the point that if I didn't it wouldn't look good. I have been hating my hair because of this and not wanting to wake up in the morning to have to deal with trying to play around with it so it didn't look like I had an issue. Which on top of the other stresses added more which compounded the issue. I have to call the doc office on Monday and get script for anti-anxiety med again. Hate to have to take meds for things I should be able to deal with, but apparently my body is telling me I am not dealing with things as well as I thought so if I don't want to be bald and hating myself even more, I have to do what I have to do for ME. I know it's vain to worry about such a trivial thing like hair, but when you are a women, it plays am important role in feeling feminine and pretty. If you don't feel it then everything else suffers. Believe me I haven't felt pretty in awhile. Even now, though my husband likes the new do, I don't feel feminine or pretty. I feel better that at least it looks ok for public outings and work, but other then that not thrilled with this whole development. Hopefully I can report some better changes and with those changes, the urge to be creative again will be back. Got to admit the little spark of it yesterday felt great for the time it lasted.

mixed bag

Hi all !!


Got some good news today from the doc. Was a little worried about something I found and made and apt to check it out and all is well. So on that note, the time off I took to make the doc apt was used to.. Ready for this.. WRITE !!!! That's write all, I was writing again. More accurately, I was typing up what was already written. That is to say except one scene that hadn't been written by hand. I decided to add a little something else personal into the story. So now my first sex scene between Tess and Troy has been written and an extra touch of something personal was added. Can't wait to get more involved again in my writing. I forget how freeing and soothing it can be. As today started out as a cloudy day, I had decided to make the most of the time I had off by making sure what was missing in my story, as mentioned in a previous post my story all of a sudden didn't have the correct amount of pages. All it was is that it was double spaced. I have a lot more to go, but doing what I did today felt great. I missed my characters. I missed being involved with them and having them talk in my head telling me I need this to be in there. Tess was stubborn and insisted that the scene I wrote today had to be in there and Troy was equally stubborn and insisted he felt this was about it and if I made it any different, he wasn't going to cooperate with me later. I had the same thing happen with the ex-husband character Dave. When I was writing the scene where he comes into play, he insisted on a larger role then I had planed for him. Even now, he's talking to me telling me I have to hurry and get to the part that includes him again and is insisting LOUDLY that I have to have him do something I wasn't planing on happening. So as you can see, my characters are welcoming me back into their world and want stage time and want what they want. Hopefully this book will end the way I had intended, but with they way these guys are going, I can't count on it. I already had the story ending in mind just as I had the beginning. They came fully formed. Hopefully no one involved has a problem with it, cuz I would really hate to end it differently. Though Dave is arguing with me that he doesn't like how it ends for him. Even though I didn't plan on this being a series or even being told in two books, I can see how that could happen and with how they are leading me, I might just have to play around in Tess and Troy's world a little longer. Anita, another character of mine is telling me I need to get back to her story soon, as that IS supposed to be a series of who knows how many books.

To top all that off, I found I could still take the trip I wanted to take, but going by myself and other situations still make me hesitate. Though of course right now I can't decide. So with too many possibilities to ponder this evening, I leave you on the high note that Tess and Troy haven't left me and can't wait to share their story with you all. 

Disappointed once again

Hi All !!

Well I might have been heading to London for my first ever Harry Potter conference. However, as my husband was considering sending me, things turned up on the home front that wouldn't allow the cost really. Then he would have liked to go @ the same time to go to war hammer stuff while I was doing my thing. Though the conference is around his birthday and would be what he would like to do, obligations to see his Father and time constraints to see his friends around that time too didn't fit in with making it fees able. One of the disappointments of not being able to go is that it had been closed out for so long and was a flagship attempt to see how it would go over being overseas. My niece had told me about it and had said it was closed out. When they opened up more spots for a fleeting moment I was almost going to go, couldn't help the excitement that built up. Now, knowing that I can't go just kind of sucks. Brings back the memories of the one I was going to go to in FL that I missed out on as the decision to register was made too late and even though my niece was kind enough to wait list me without telling me, in case it didn't work out, which it didn't. I spent that vacation time painting the outside of my house and getting sunburned. So the regret of missing out on that is now mirrored by this disappointment. Was considering going to the one next year in FL as the one in Portland this year didn't interest me. Somehow I think that one is going to be a wash too. Sorry for the negative thoughts today, but that's what's on my mind this morning.

One Crazy Day

Hi All,

Today the blog is not about writing or what work I got done on my writing projects. Today's blog is personal. Today was THE craziest day I have had in a long while. 1 simple chore, wash the curtains in the house, turned into 2 trips to Home Depot and cleaning till all hours. Usually my cleaning starts around 10 or so.My husband was working ot today from home so I had to start some of it later then normal. So while waiting for him to be done, I decided a project I meant to do months ago I can do now. Everything started off fine. All the curtains came down and went into the wash and then the dryer. Meanwhile I started doing some of the other stuff on my list that wouldn't interfere with my husbands work. All is good. He leaves to do the shopping and I continue to dust the woodwork where the curtains were as it needed it. Well here's where it gets crazy. One of the mini-blinds that we have started to list to one side, saw that the sting on it was broke. Knowing I couldn't leave it like that went off the Home Depot. Got a fancy wood looking one that was more expensive (and looks great in the room I must say) and a cheep one as there was another one broke that needed replacing too, just not in a place that needed it right away. So I go and get these things and come back. Husbands already home and wondering where I had went. Critter guy was coming as we have a skunk trying to take over a woodchuck hole for a home. So all these things were all going on @ once. Then the new blind needed a new hole for bigger brackets and things so it wasn't going to be a simple replace like I had thought. So my Dad who is very handy came by to help out. He didn't bring a drill thinking we had one and not knowing if he'd even need one in the first place. Of course ours was dead. Then while charging and trying to hang the other blind that was a simple replace turned out not to be the right size. So off back to Home Depot we go. Get that fixed and Dad buys us batteries for our doorbells. Get back and fix the one blind then have to get the other one up and drill isn't charged. So finally get that up and trying putting up the curtains I took down. Oh yes there was a mishap with those as well. One set has rings one the top where they go over the rod, well one of these came off in the wash and wasn't easy to get back on, Dad figured out how. Of course all this takes all afternoon. What happened to the cleaning you ask? Well once resting with Dad once all that was over I had to finish the rest of it. Then I had to put the rest of the curtains back up. There is still 1 thing left to do and I am not sure I want to do it, but my husband gave me the best idea. He suggested to take a bath and relax after I finish. I SO think I am going to do so.It sounds like heaven right about now. So night all, off to finish the last chore and take my bath.

Slow week :-(

Hi All !!

       Sorry to have to report this, but it's been a slow week for writing :-(   I know I am as upset as you all are. Just a little frustrated that my pda still hasn't worked well with windows 7 and can't seem to find a driver that works. I may be tied to my computer once again to finish all the typing up and writing the end of the story of Tess and Troy. I am also debating adding more to the flashbacks that occur in the beginning of the story. Those are the real parts of the story, the rest is just part wishful thinking and part fantasy. Though as in all good writing, enough of the truth in the flashbacks makes the story more believable and drag you into the lives of the characters. Can't wait for you all to see the whole thing and for it be available. Working on it slowly, but surely. My dream will NOT be defeated.    

More set backs/acknolgements

Hi All !!!

      Well another set back to the pda/computer and writing situation. My new computer (which I am loving btw) is not playing nice with the pda. I am trying hard not to freak as I am trying to get my work done and not able to upload to my computer what I have already got done this past week. I know I can use my computer and not the pdfa over the weekend, but really need to get my work uploaded. Trying to figure out what the issue is and fix it. Also making time to make sure all my files from my old computer have been uploaded to the new one to make sure before giving it to my sister I don't lose anything. Even though sleep study this week caused a set back in work the day after, was able to get more done that night and the rest of the week.

      The acknowledgement I mentioned came from my hairdresser. Now I know she's also being nice for wanting to keep a customer, however, her acknowledgment of liking my work was treasuring. I had mentioned to her about my working on the novel and having her do my hair for the author photo for the jacket (someday) and she had said she wanted to read it. I had my pda with me when I had my hair appointment so let her read some of it. She would have liked to read more, but my hair was drying too quickly for her to get too far, but she had said she really liked what she got to read. She told me I was really good. That means a lot. She didn't have to say she liked it or the other nice things she said. She could have just said it was nice and moved on, but had complimented it thoroughly and asked questions. I am glad I showed her. Her compliments meant a lot to me as I am I am usually totally embarrassed when some one reads my work in front of me. Especially if I am not sure if people will like it.

      On a personal note, too much rain has caused my area to be flooded and I thank God the little wetness in my basement was the worst we suffered. Others fared not as well and I pray that they get back to normal as soon as possible. Can't wait till the rest of my work for the day is done so I can continue with my writing. More house work to do :-(    That's what I get for slacking during the week.

Have no fear

Hi All !

I have been doing some typing up for what's been written already. Haven't had a chance to get it all done, but doing ok on it. While one was drying out, the other is the one I was working on. Hopefully now that new computer is up and running I'll get the sync on my pda to work again and will not loose the stuff I've been doing. Had some ideas forming for characters that haven't showed themselves yet in the Reunion novel. Can't wait to get it finished already !!!

Getting used to change

Hi all !!

       Well my new computer is here!!!. My wonderful husband has spent the weekend uploading all my files from my old one to my new one. Spending hours waiting for all the updates to windows when first installed. It's taking a lot of getting used to. My husband has listened to me bitch about the fan lighting up when I had one that didn't before and a different feel the the keyboard, but has put up with it all and has made my new computer workable and carrying all my old files so it would feel as much like my old one as possible.

      On top of that, I got to spend a wonderful Friday evening out with friends I haven't spent time with in awhile. I was glad to have been able to do that and work on my new computer. Between those two things, so far this weekend has been great, even if filled with headaches and hot, humid weather. 

On Reading and update on writing.

Hi all !!

     Well you might have read that one of the books I am currently reading is Tess of the D'Urbervilles by Thomas Hardy. It's taken me forever to get through about half the book. Not that it's not good, but it's heavy. I can only read about 5 or so pages before my brain is used up (or it feels that way anyway). Let me give a little bit of background. I choose to read this because when I ready 50 shades of Gray, the characters in that book mention it. I having never read it and want to be well read, decided I was going to read it.

      In 50 shades of Gray, Ana receives 3 first editions of this book from Christian. When they are leading up to having sex for the first time, Ana chooses debasement, as if Christian is Alec and not Angel. In 50 shades Darker, Ana brings up again that Christian has gone from Alec to Angel. However, in the part of the book I am now in, I don't see that as a good thing. Up to this point you hate Alec and love Angel. Angle has now turned into a character I am not liking anymore. He may redeem himself further in the novel, but at this moment I don't even want to continue reading. How can he tell his new wife that he spent 48 hours basically whoring with a women, then turn around and tell her he doesn't love her any more for confessing what would be considered rape in today's time? Tess even points out that he was confessing to sex before marriage and she was doing the same, but for some reason her offense (if you can even call it that) is worse then his as he couldn't see it coming and can't look at her the same. Now I know back then being a virgin on your wedding night was very important. Not saying that it shouldn't be in today's time either( even though harder to do and more unlikely), however what I am saying that it is so horrible to read about the double standard still occurring. It was ok for him to confess his affair, but when Tess confesses her rape, he's got a problem. He kind of has forgiven her at the point I got to now, but I was so disgusted with his character I really didn't want to read anymore.


     Now onto my writing part of this blog :-D I made a big mess of things. First of all I spilled coffee (not intentionally, the cup was supposed to be closed !!) all over my notebook. So it's been drying out the last few days. The other is that as I was waiting for it to dry out, again the batteries dies in my pda and when I finally got that issue corrected, I found that the word program I was using was only a trial run because I didn't use the key and registration # that (duh Mel!!) was right on the back of the cd when I first installed the program. So I had to go through all that to get the word docs back into that program and then update the pda about 3 times just to get them back to where I can type again once the notebook dries out. Thank goodness I didn't go any overtime tonight. Still got to now go run around and shower and maybe make some popcorn for a snack, but at least I know my stuff will be waiting for me tomorrow !!!

writing and things

Hey all !!

        I keep seeing how busy the printing/publishing company, that I plan to use to print my book, is on my way into work. I cheer every time I see how many cars are parked in front, as not always all employees are there. Lately they have been very busy and @ least 1 person is still working past 6:45 all last week. This excites me as long as they stay busy they won't be another business closed here. This also gets me pumped to keep working on mine book so they can have that work to do :-D

       Got a lot of typing to do and I have to finish writing the story, but working on it everyday and am glad I still have the motivation to do so. I want this so bad !!! I don't think since I wanted to get married to my husband have I wanted something so bad. It feels just as right as agreeing to be his wife did at the time. I just hope like that this turns out to have positive affects like getting married did. I do know that trusting that God always has a plan for you helps. This feels like HIS plan for me. I am getting the same feeling from it as I got when something kept me from taking the job offer out of state and away from my family. I just found out the other day that the company just gave everyone their 90 day notice. If I had taken that job I would be stuck in a year lease at my apartment with no job to pay the $800 rent. Something felt off about taking that job when it was offered and I am glad I listened to it and took the job I did take. So if this feeling about the book turns out as the feeling about not taking that job did then I think I'll be in good shape. Please keep the good wishes coming. Please keep up visiting the blog and POST COMMENTS !!

Writing update

    I just thought that an update on my writing would be good. I finally found what was keeping my progress down for the past week. When I was syncing up my pda and computer they were somehow overriding each other. There was more then 1 version so the updates I was doing would be there, but the version that would come back on my pda was the older one. So last week I was typing up, trying to make up for lost time from the holiday weekend, and I was still loosing ground re-typing the same thing day after day. As I caught this and stopped typing till I fixed it, I finally got it fixed this weekend. So far it's been working great again. Though I did notice the page count can't be right. As it was over 60 pages before and now showing 30 coming. I have to view the document on my computer and make sure that it's not missing something and then make sure it's double spaced and all that. Most important that it just isn't missing any pages or info that I want it to have. The page count is less important. The other thing that is nice is that as I was fixing why I had more then 1 version of my book on my computer, I was going through old files and movies on my computer to clear some more space and ended up with my husband ordering me a new computer. It's been almost 7 years since I've had a new one and this one is just getting slow and bogged down. So that update will be going on soon. Looking forward to it.

Family

Hi all

   Well my family surprised me this weekend. My parents called out of the blue to invite my husband and I out to dinner on Sat. I know it was for our anniversary that was going to be on Sunday, but still. Also they surprised me by being observant and stating that I have lost weight. I know I have as doc appointments have told me so at weigh in. It's just nice to know others are seeing the change as well. My husband surprised me on our Anniversary as he bought me the most beautiful Roses !! I wasn't expecting us to even do anything, but he did do that which was nice.

   I also went to visit my Grandmother's grave as it would have been her 93rd birthday yesterday. I had tried to honer her by getting married on her birthday, but it was nice to go visit her grave for a short time to honer her that way too. So it was a nice weekend and hopefully doc appointment will go well.  

UPDATE:  the doc appt went very well. Scar that I thought I wouldn't be able to do anything about is now being taken care of. Poison Ivy questions for the skin was answered. I am thrilled to have had to go to this appt.

Pet Peeve Rant

hi all !!

      I am sorry to subject to all to rants or fit of peek, but on top of what's going on personally, my work has been getting on my nerves as well. So to possibly help with the recent frustration, I am going to post about it.So here it goes. If you call a customer service #, be prepared to give what is asked of you so they can pull up the account. Don't say I don't have my account # or I don't have any of my paper work with me. If you are not prepared, the call just takes longer to get through. 2nd, please don't call in if you are not going to be able to talk the moment a representative comes on the line. Which means as soon as someone picks up you don't ask them to hold to answer another phone or talk to someone else. It ESPECIALLY means don't call when you are placing a lunch order at a fast food place. We don't want to hear what you or your kids are going to be eating. 3rd, don't argue with the person over verification of phone or address info. The more you argue over having to do it, the longer it takes to get to the point of why you were calling. Last but not least no back story about old phone or address info. If you are told that the phone or address provided isn't the one the representative is seeing on the screen, please use the brains God gave you to think back to an old address or phone, without saying you haven't lived there in 10 years or changed your phone # so often that you don't remember. 

    Now these are not all, but the most recent peeves that have been coming up at work and just have had me say "oh my God" during or after most calls. I know some of it was that I haven't slept well the last few nights. Now that I am getting proper rest again, I am trying to get my peek under control, but the constant reminder of how dumb people can be is just grating on me and can't take it much more. Please people try and be understanding that the person on the phone wasn't the one you spoke to that pissed you off that made you call back and don't take it out on them. Please be prepared to talk to a person with the correct info to have them help you in the fastest way possible. Remember more and more these people are getting paid per call and can't not afford to listen to you order your lunch, listen to back stories that have nothing to do with helping with the bill you are calling about. I could be earning so much more money if people would just be prepared, listen the first time I say something so I don't have to repeat the  same info 3 or more times, and if they would not ramble. So please keep these things in mind the next time you have to call into some place for assistance.

Writing and Reading

Hi all !

    Just wanted to give an update on my writing project. Almost made up the ground I lost when I made that foolish mistake of not syncing up my pda with my computer. So a irritating set back yes, but rectified with just a little irritation on my part.

    Other thing that's been going on is that the local library stated a hold I placed came in. In a weird turn of events, they only had books 1-3 and 5 in a series that has @ least 7 plus a couple of novellas. I, of course, being onto the book in the series they didn't have and the one called in was the next one. By doing some thinking on it over the past weekend, I found a pdf version of the one I needed and was tied to my computer to read it. Of course I was hoping to finish my last library book before having to go pick up the one on hold, but trying to read two books @ once didn't work out too well. I just finished the other and still have plenty left in the one I was hoping to be done with. Well two trips to the library isn't a bad thing, just hate thinking of the gas for the trip now, but hey well worth it. 

     One other thing wanted to post about. I know I mentioned about not having a local editor or literary agents available. Not that you need them these days when you can e-mail a file to someone and have the same affect. However, as my husband and I had talks, I realized something important. It pains me not to be able to share with him these ideals, but.... the idea I am having is too engrossed in my now to give up on. I want to have my book be so popular that, once using the local pay to have published printer/publisher, I have the money to buy the building the printer.publisher is housed in, use some of the office space that's available to create a editor/agent office primarily for local artists, but wanting/willing to expand. I want to use the printer/publisher still to print the books or whatnot either I or someone in my office edits and says it's fit to print. Also need agents to champion these works. As I think more on this idea the more it sounds like what I would love to be doing and hope to do.

    So once again I ask for help from my audience. If you feel these are worthy goals to have and want to support them coming to light, please continue to read this blog and support my kickstart once I have it set up. As that would be the way I would more likely earn the donations to get my book published and earn enough from that to be able to make these other new goals even come close to fruition. Please support the goals of 1 person who's trying to improve her life and do what would make her happy now that she finally knows what that is.

Getting fixed

Hi all,

   I started yesterday getting back the work that I lost over the holiday weekend. Not all recovered, but well on it's way to being back on track. Still extremely upset with myself for letting such a stupid thing happen. The fact that it's set me back some is disheartening, though I am trying not to let myself fall into a ball of dis pare, as set backs like this past one is what's stopped me from finishing the project sooner. If I let this latest one take back all of my earlier progress this year, I will never complete this project. I am too determined to finish it this time around that I WILL NOT allow set backs of my stupidity or others keep me from completing my novel.

    I drive by the one publishing company every day and long for the time I know they are printing out my work. I see the empty office space in same said building, and think of what I would like to do with it and turn it into, if this book became the success I hope it does. These are the dreams, wishes and hopes that I foresee and hold out for. There are some who say that I may not have a large scope of ambition or for seeing past the things right in front of me to really see how things are. That is not so. I just have a different way of going about how I see things and have different ambitions. They may be simple, as I am a simple person, but they are my hopes, wishes and dreams and NO ONE or ANYTHING is going to keep me from obtaining them.

    So for now I leave you all to shower and get out of my sweaty cleaning the house stuff. I also leave you to continue on with my working towards my goals that are my own to fulfill.      

Angry Writer

Hi all !

     This writer is ANGRY !! Not at anything, but herself. She had a chance to type up some stuff today during her lunch, but had an issue with the batteries and not being able to save what was typed today. Not even stuff that was typed up over the weekend that I posted about. Hadn't gotten a chance to sync it to my computer. Now I lost everything and have to re-due everything I had done. I am so frustrated with myself. I hate re-doing work I had already done. It's just a waste in my eyes. I just hate myself when something this stupid happens that I could have prevented. Oh well back to the work. Got to make up for all this lost progress I had made :-(

Writing

Hi all !!

       Yes it was a holiday weekend, but what better time to make use of not having to go into my steady job to get some writing done?? Answer none. So this holiday weekend this writer actually did work. Worked on typing up more of Reunion and typed up one other story tentatively titled Alone.  I did not get as much typed up as I hoped, but every little bit brings me closer. I also worked on ideas for my kickstart for when the time comes. Got to make some calls soon regarding out of pocket costs to see what amount my kickstart would have to be. Hope to have all your support once it goes up !! 

Not sure

Hi all

   Yes this is aptly titled. There are no many things this is the answer to going on right now. I hate that in the middle of turmoil and fears of what the future holds, that time to do things like write or stew over these things have to coincide Of course these things fuel a creative side in me and might make me be able to write move to complete my story instead of just typing it up. Though it is a necessary evil to type up what I have already written, it does make it a pain to do double the work. Though by doing that it does cause me to have to review and tweak things already, then editing will be easier later.

    As I have found my audience slipping away, I worry that interest in my book may falter or not even exist. I am struggling to hold on to any shred of happiness I can find right now. This slip in audience makes me feel even worse as it makes me scared that once I finish this book, there will be no one who cares enough out there to try and help get it interest. I want to generate buzz about it now and keep up that excitement as well published authors I know are doing with their blogs or web pages. As this is the only medium I can use to get info out to the masses at this point, it is depressing that no one has joined to follow this blog or posted comments about the 1st chapter that was posted awhile back. I beg as I am going through what might be one of the most difficult times and I turn to writing and completing my project regardless of what is going on personally with me, I need to know the support is out there. Please view the blog with the chapter, post comments, READ any of my blogs and let me know the support is out there as I need that during this time.

A smattering of things

Hi all !!

   Today it's all about a bunch of things. First, I want to say I am feeling better. Most of the poison ivy is gone. It's hot and sticky here so it's trying to make a come back, but for the most part it's cleared up. Thankfully without getting everywhere like it did last year. Second, I am embarrassed to say I gave up on Tess for now. It took me too long to get through only half the book and yesterday I wasn't in the mood for heavy, so I started a different library book instead. Not saying I won't go back to it or finish it or that I didn't like it. Please don't misunderstand. It is a very interesting book and I have enjoyed what I read so far, however, it is very heavy and you can only read so much of it before your brain (or maybe just my puny one) starts to hurt and you have to put it down. I will get back to it and finish before it has to go back. Just wanted something a little more lighthearted that I can read quickly for the moment. Third, I didn't get to type up more of my book, but the program and what I typed up so far are working wonderfully. Who knows where or how much faster I can get it done because now it can travel with me. I can set it up anywhere that has a flat surface and don't have to use a memory stick or by tied to just the room my computer is in. Love the mobility !! I know others out there have cell phones that could probably do this or tablets, but I don't have tons of money for either fancy device. I have a cell that works for what it is intended to be used for. It's simple, but good. My parents have a tablet, but without wireless access it wouldn't matter if I used theirs. So using the technology that was good enough back in the early 2000's and still works just fine, I am quite content at the moment. Please keep good wishes about the project coming, as I hope interest picks up and stays so when I set up my kickstart, it gets lots of hits and donations. Any ideas on what should be offered to those to donate certain amounts would be great as I have no idea.

Great weekend

 Hi All !!

    What a great weekend !! Got housework done (probably not as well I could have), but found time to read and do some writing.too !! Surprisingly as much cleaning and laundry (thanks to my poison ivy) there was to do, it got done in great time (thanks to my husband's help) and I was able to make time to get other things done. I got more pages typed up on my pda, so I didn't have to just stay attached to my computer. I got reading done too. Yesterday it was a rainy day and after Mass, did some laundry and got even more pages typed up. So there are 60 pages typed up. Of course there is only some edited. I haven't added chapter breaks either after a certain point, so I got to do that too. Though it's nice to know that there are still tons more written that need to be typed up and will be able to now seamlessly be able to do that. I can't wait !! I don't know if it will lead anywhere, but I am not above giving it a serious try. Soon kickstart will have to be made. Don't know what to put up to get donations, but well see. I think it will be signed copies of the book, maybe a lunch with the author. I don't know, more ideas will come, but I think I'll be ready soon. This is all so exciting !!! I am finishing something that was years in the making and completing a new years resolution for the first time. I hope it all works out.  

This writers is so happy !!!

Hi all !!

      Well this writer is extremely happy !! The word program my husband bought me for my pds come finally !! What's even better is it works like a charm so far !! I couldn't be more happy. I now have a word program I can use on it and get my written stuff typed and at least get my other ideas typed up too and get them started so I can always have them with easy access. No more notebooks to have to lug around and hand write if I don't want. So even though this poison ivy is kicking my ass AGAIN, I can't help but be happy right now.

       I also have to say I read Rebecca and it was a very good book. I can't wait to try and catch the Hitchcock movie on TCM @ the end of this month or in early Aug when they play it. I want to see how well it's adapted from the book.I am now reading Tess D'uberville. It's going slow as Thomas Hardy is hard to read though quickly. I have to say it's one of the good things that came from reading the 50 shades trilogy. The main character Ana has read and mentioned these books and quoted from them, which peaked my interest the last time I listened to the audio books of the series. If it wasn't for that I wouldn't have probably read these two books and would have missed out on some wonderful literature. Hope to get more read in Tess tonight. Busy day ahead tomorrow. 

Replay

Hi all !!

       Well here we go again. A replay of last summer. For those of you not in know, I had poison ivy last summer for the first time ever. It turned into a bad case spreading from my arms to then basically being  everywhere. The meds the doc prescribed that was supposed to help, didn't help @ all. I had 2 doses of it before it finally helped and started clearing up. During that time it was about 100 degrees and I had to wear long sleeves as keeping sun off it helped it from spreading. Showers were cool (which wasn't a problem as it was so hot out).

         So to make a story short, found a few spots on arm and thought it was under control. Found 1 spot on the other arm. Keep those few spots covered and thought it was all. But yesterday @ work I saw a spot that was in a prime spot to hit the edge of my desk and irritate and spread. Got that covered and saw spots showing on the other arm too breaking out. So I got bandages on them and look like a mummy, but will keep it from getting all over my clothes and getting back on my. I think some tank tops I had worn last summer might have ended up with it on it and now that I might have worn them again now trying to get things clean quickly and have to get the script for the meds again :-( and had to take off yesterday from work to get all the bedding washed and have to be careful of what I wear right now. It's all a GIANT PAIN. I  can't believe I have to go through this again. At least it's not full on summer, but still.    

Well and not so well

 Hey all !!

    Things went well for the party I wrote about the other day. My parents were genuinely surprised and I think pleased with the whole thing and the gift. I am so glad for them and that we could do such a wonderful thing for them. Only wish that certain people would have had a better time or kept quiet about things to not take the damper of a wonderful night. Oh well can't have everything I guess.

    Eagerly awaiting the program for my pda so I can write easier. It's had to been delayed in being sent till this week so hopefully I'll have it soon and installed. Got to go through my word documents and start clearing out old papers and the like that no longer need to be on my computer as it's running very slow and almost full of memory. So someday soon got to do that on top of other things.
 

A bit of family happiness

Hi all !!

    Today this is going to be a personal blog. Today, in my family we celebrate a wonderful milestone that most do not get to do in this day and age where everyone is so hot to get divorced and switch spouses they are switching shoes, today is my parents 50th wedding anniversary. There has been only 1 other couple in my family that I can recall that celebrated this milestone. That was my grandparents on my Dad's side. I still have the picture that my aunt had done of them to celebrate that occasion on top of my computer desk where I can see it everyday. So you can see how important this day is to me.

     In all the years growing up where there big fights and talk of divorce, I didn't think we'd make it to this day. However, as I grew older and gotten married myself, I can see how hard they worked to make sure that, despite the things that happened back then, they stayed together. Without seeing that and having them as an example to fight through the petty arguments, or even larger ones and not let them eat away @ the love that brought u together in the first place, I would have given up on my marriage or even never had gotten married in the first place. They are the best people I know. They support their children in all their endeavors and only want what's best for them.They are there without question, unflappable in their resolve to give only the best to us and give us what we need when we need it no matter the cost to them. I was blessed to be part of this family when God decided to surprise my parents with me 8 years after their last child had been born and they had thought they were done with children. If I could have chosen my own parents, I wouldn't have chosen a different set. Not matter the petty family squabbles that occur in every family, the love they have for us got us all through tough times and still do. They are the best parents ever !! So Mom and Dad, to you, with great vigor, I say HAPPY ANNIVERSARY !!!

   To celebrate this great moment in our family, we are having a party for them. Even though they don't know about it yet (shhh it's a surprise !!) I don't think there is any better way for us to repay them the great honor of being our parents.

Some exciting news

Hi all !!

   Not that I should be doing this as I haven't even finished the one book I should be focused on writing, however, ideas come when least expected. So it is with great enthusiasm that I announce to you, my on line audience, that I have had another idea for yet another story and have started notes and ideas about it yesterday as it came to me. So it is fiting that my horoscope states:

 "Cultivate a talent that causes you to stand out from the crowd. You are at your most empowered when you are free to follow your true heart and passionate interests today."

     So I am excited that my for once it and my real life are actually in sync (it occasionally happens) though I don't put much stock in these as mostly they are so not anything to pay the smallest attention to.I just thought that this was fitting as I was announcing my new idea.

     On another personal note: I still am disappointed to see that things haven't improved in my home town. Not that I expected an overnight change, but am disappointed that any local readers of this blog haven't tried to get in touch to try and see about getting involved in any way to make things better here instead of complaining about how bad it is. I'll be the first to admit there are things that we wouldn't be able to do unless we had some clout in some way, hence hoping to be published, but there are things we as citizens CAN do and if there are local readers who would be interested in talking about options, please comment and we'll see about things in another medium to get things started. I can't do this alone and for once I feel the need to really get involved and do something.

Writers Rant

I want to rant for a moment about my hometown and being a writer. I know we are a small city/town and can't have all the glitz and options of a big city. However, as a writer in this town there are no agents, or publishers in this area. Well there is one that you pay to have to pay them to have your stuff published. Though not necessarily a bad thing because my friend who helps me out did that with her book, but the lack of options or help in a budding writers quest to get published can be a real downer.

I have to say things are on a cusp of either going very bad or can start going back to up to where it used to be when I was growing up here. If I get published and get popular to the point where I can have some influence, things that my family and I don't like that's going on here can be helped. I really want to do some good here, but without the funds to run for any local office or without being well known in the area like those who can influence the way things are around here, I am at a stale mate. What I would do if I could get published and get popular, any chance I would get during a tour would be to bring attention for the need for change here and the urging of the people here to not let this town die. I just want my home, my family to be safe and have a safe place to grow. I don't want to have to split my family apart by having to leave. I also don't want to have to be a divorcee @ 37, not because my husband and i don't love each other, but because of where we live. I don't want to be alone at this age and start over again.

Things have gone on too far here. Time for action is now !! If it gets any worse there won't be any way to not leave. Got to get the support of all you on line people to make this happen. First by the support of this blog and your dedication to keep reading it, 2nd for support once I start a kick start to get this published and 3rd to actually reading my book, or more hopefully books when they are out. Please help this blogger who loves her family and home town the chance to get out there and make something of herself and make something of her town and give her family something they can be proud about and be proud of where they choose to raise her and live.

What a day

Yesterday I had to get blood work done and my veins didn't want to cooperate as usual. Got stuck 3 times in order to get enough blood to fill the tubes needed to run all the tests they wanted. Needless to say I am bruised and was uncomfortable last night. Sleep didn't go so well and woke up in tears around 5 am because the annoyance of the steady slight pain and lack of sleep. Today is no writing day as my brain will be functioning on just getting my job done. Not that I am happy about that as I am in a good part of the book that I really look forward to finally writing. The end is ever nearer and then just got to type and edit. Hope everyone who's been looking or reading will help support me in getting this published and out to the masses. I could use all the help I can get :-D

Doing a happy dance

My husband had the time off from work today and said something about my not working on my book lately. I reminded him I was really waiting on a word program for my pda. So he goes right on his computer and finds out how the company who made my pda went out of business back 10 years ago or was bought out or something. He finds something via e-bay (got to love that web site sometimes) that is a version of word  for the pda. Who knows if it will run or work with mine, but it's something and then hopefully I'll never have to hand write again. Though I must say on those slow days at work like today, it came in handy to be able to have the notebook right there to write, even if it's a word or 2 before the next call comes in.

Today was slow as I just mentioned so indeed I did get writing done today. Not too much and not sure how much of it is really any good. Got to see how it really flows once I get to editing it. At least I had time for the creative juices to flow today.

On another tangent I am enjoying Rebecca, though it's going slow. I am listening to Manfield Park, but Jane Austin as an audio book on my mp3 player and really am enjoying that, though I know that was a few centuries again, but I still can't get past the cousins marrying thing. Though it's written in such a way that you want to 2 to be together, but still cousins???  On that note I must leave you to watch Dancing with the Stars :-D

Full of sunshine

Nothing about writing today. I must say that work has been quite busy and when it's not reading the classic Rebecca by Daphne du Maurier is taking up my time. Only on page 106 and have had it a week. Granted haven't had the time to read as much as I would like, but still. I am tryign to enrich myself by getting back into reading the classics. I just feel stupid that it's taking me so long to get through it.

On to the sunshine. The weather here has been perfect all weekend. Sunny and about 75 degrees. Today I worked in my garden. Weeded it and smoothed it and finally put a weed cover over it so only the flowers can come up and should keep back most of the weeds. Now need more dirt and more seeds to fill the rest of it. Love days like this when got Church out of the way early, got the yard work I wanted done out of the way and am proud that I did it. Now I just got the gift for the big event to finish and blood work to take care of during the week. Other than that maybe this girl can have some down time except for playing in the sunshine :-D  Loved taking my walk yesterday. Might do that again today too. It may seem silly to feel proud for working in the garden and getting it ready to plant and trying to grow beautiful flowers to liven up my back yard, but it makes me happy and me happy gets the writer in me going :-D Granted it's been hard to get focused back on my book, but this yard work that relaxes me will get back into the frame of mind I need for my characters to come and play.

frumple

Well all, no new news on the writing front. Work has been keeping me busy so not able to get much done. Also still no palm word program as of yet so can't really use that either. Keep trying to remind my husband to look into it for me as I got too many choices and none seem to be what I was looking for.

On a personal front, things r ok @ the new job so far. At least I think so anyway. Got big life event coming up in the family that am very pleased to be putting together and being able to be a part of. Got a hair apt after work tonight and for once it's something I'm looking forward to doing after work. This week has been a crazy one with things going on before or after or in the middle of work that I have worn myself out. Can't wait to use tonight to relax some and have a nice new do for big event next week.

Not much

going on in the writing situation lately. Also not really getting anywhere trying to get a word program on my pda either so. Got other things to plan right now that is taking up my time as well. Work has been busy and not much time to write.So all in all I am ok, just blocked for the moment.

Frustrated writer.

Now for a rant.

I recently wanted to go back to my pda for my writing instead of hand writing. The idea is the word program I had (key word there is had, more in a moment) on my pda would link to my computer when I "HotSynced" it to my computer. then I'd copy and paste to word. Done this in the past when I first started writing this book and it worked. No having to waste time typing up what I wrote because all of it was typed. You might ask wasn't that a pain with a styles. Answer no. My husband had thought of that and bought me a full keyboard that folds up that the pda attaches to and when set up looks like a mini computer. So back to my original rant. It's been years since I've used it and as I already posted, concerned about running out of space and having to start another notebook before I finish this book. So I decided to go back to what worked in the past and get moving on the typing and use my pda again. I finally after many starts got the thing to finally turn on. Later that day when I went to use it on lunch @ work I discovered I didn't have the word program anymore. Come home that night and finally get the thing to HotSync with my computer thinking once I did the program would come back with all my other data, NOPE. Now trying to find a word program for my pda so I can finally get to use it like I want and find everything but what I want in searches. Every time I think I might have hit on what I wanted, it turns out to be a big goose egg. So if anyone has any suggestions on where I can find/download a word program info would be greatly appreciated.

Of course was frustrated last evening trying to do this as my husband watches me struggle. This morning more searching was fruitless before work. Husbands promise of help didn't happen and still can't find anything. Other things happened this morning before work that also added extra stress before leaving and even while trying to get to work. So can't wait till book is done and published and hopefully hits it big enough so I can just work from home. All this leads to restless sleep as this was still on mind and just not in mind fram to bo @ work let alone write while there. Of course it was  so busy today I wouldn't have gotten anything written anyway, but that's besides the point. Mind set is half the battle of any job, especially a writer.

End rant. 

On the writing front

I had a good writing day today. Not as many pages as yesterday, but some good stuff was put down. I think so anyway :-D However, dismayed at the fact that I am running out of space in the notebook I am currently writing the story in and don't know if I am going to get it finished before I run out of space. That doesn't mean I won't move on to another one, but was hoping that wouldn't happen. Don't know how long this book is going to be, but I know where the story is heading and how it ends. I just have to get the characters there now. I knew the beginning and ending before most the of the middle came to me in start and stops. knowing where you need to be, but not knowing how to get them there was what has made this take as long as it has. The other stories I have started, didn't have as much info thrown at me when the ideas came. This one came to me pretty much fully born with how it should start and end and the few twits in the middle. Not how or what led up to these points, just that these were concretes that were not going to change. The characters were very clear that certain things had to happen and they have not wavered on these. Though I must say Troy doesn't like one thing that has to happen to Tess very much, but understands that it's necessary and though not happy with me for it happening, knows that it leads to a greater good in the end.    

More news !

Surprise !! 2 blogs in 1 day.  However had to share that that today was a  big, big  day writing wise !!! I am thrilled with it so far. Can't wait to get some time to type up and edit it with my good and locally (where she is) famous friend who has been so great throughout all the times I've been working on this with helping me edit. Even though we don't get to see much of each other since college staying in touch has been the best thing that could have happened to me. Her successes drive me to continue to work toward my gold when I might have given it up and listened to the nay-Sayers. Even though I also decided on a dedication for my book, the only person I'd acknowledge on the acknowledge that would be in it would be her. She's been my rock during all the years I've been slowly getting this together. If not for her encouragement this project and dream would have died a long time ago. Everyone else mostly has been either indifferent or treated it as a passing fad or just something else I'd never complete. That along with the above mentioned friend are the driving forces behind me. As sick and tired as I felt all day, I was energized by the pages completed. Helped me get through the day. Now it's time for a quick shower and early to bed. Night all !!

Not sure what's going on

with me lately. I've been not able to write on my novel "The Reunion" for the last few days. At first I thought it was because my characters needed a break after pouring forth a bevy of emotion they entrusted me to put forth for them. I thought I also needed a rest after it too. So Friday and over the weekend put aside the work expecting Monday I'd pick it back up. Yesterday the notebook I am writing the novel in just sat staring @ me on my work desk not enticing me to pick it up, open it or write a thing. I am trying to get over a cold so maybe being extra worn down I didn't have the creative juices flowing. Even today though a little better then yesterday, still feel I rather read something then write something. Which is sad because I really want those of you out there who have showed interest in my story to be able to have access to more of it or the whole thing @ your local book store. I also have other characters who want to come out and play and I put them off just so I can finish the one, but @ this point none are going to get finished. However, I hope today I have some inspiration to write again and be just that much closer to bringing to the masses.  

On the home front and writing

On the home front, things seem to be going well on the new job for the most part. Doing the usual cleaning and doing the bedding. Went through some old mail and got rid of things which is always good. Used this past week to take care of some old mail that I meant to take care of so feel accomplished for that. Still got some of that stuff to catch up with, but it was nice coming home from a crappy night @ work to my order of clothes I'd been waiting for. Waiting for time off again to go through my old clothes and get rid of stuff. Just got to stop myself from reading instead and having my day getting away from me as it does most times :-D

On the writing front, not much to report sadly. I after my wonderful day of things flowing, my characters decided to take a day off from talking to me. I didn't want t force it to come as that never works for me so knowing it wasn't going to happen, though I hate loosing a day, I didn't want to write crap so just placed it aside till it's right. I can't wait to finish as it's getting nearer and nearer. Hope those of you who have read the first chapter have enjoyed it and are interested enough to read more or by the book :-D

Writing came easy, oh and a surprise. Info on another one of my stoies

Writing came easy today. The characters and words that i wanted just seemed to flow today. Even though hand writing in a small notebook, got about 4 -5 pages written today. One of my co-workers who knows about my working on the book noticed I wasn't have and problem with word flow as I was yesterday. I had complained to him yesterday that after a certain point the words weren't coming and I felt blocked. I find that if I feel this way it's best to set the writing aside for a time. Usually the next day things pick back up and the characters want to talk to me again :-D

I am loving living the world of Tess and Troy at the moment. Of course every once in awhile my character Anita McFarland wants to come out to play and I have to put her in a box as I really don't want to pick back up with her till I at least finish the other.

Excited

Hey all !! I am excited to post that the pivotal scene has been written !! Yea !! Is playing out a little differently then I thought it was, but one character that I thought was going to only play a small part in this part of the book, ended up talking to me (you writers out there know what that's like) and insisted on playing a bigger role. Can't wait to see how this plays out with the rest of the book.

Yet another update

   Just in case anyone is interested, by time I left work last night I was @ a pivotal scene in my book. The lead in to the "Big Breakup". Once this part get written, the twist occurs and then the it's the end. I am excited that it's nearing completion. I really just can't wait to have the words "The End" be penned and for the world to be able to have access to something that's only been mind and 1 other person for all this time. Then it's on to the next project. Believe me I have enough started that if I ever get to finish them and get them published there would be a bunch of books out there @ book stores with my name on them. Which would be wonderful to see.
   
   Of course just had a set back in the progress of the book. I just found that a Saturday's worth of typing up what was hand written and saved on a portable drive and had originally thought to have been saved to my computer can not be opened at all and had been deleted off the drive.As it was my husbands and had only borrowed it for that day and didn't want to keep it on there once given back. So just a tiny set back, but annoying to say the least. Though not as upset about this as I could be as it's only about 5 pages that are missing and there is so much that needs to be typed anyway, it's not that big of a loss.        

My dream

My dream is that I get at least one of the books that I have started published. Of course I have to finish writing it. I've been working on it for 10+ years now. I've been trying to fit in writing in between working full time and doing the normal clean up of the house and wanting to do my own reading. Of course doing my own reading has taken up more of my free time then writing has, mostly because reading can be done anywhere and it relaxes me more. Lately I've been setting a goal to work on it more and finish it. I have been diligently working hard on getting it written. I do have to say that I hand write it as most of it's done while I am @ work and not on my personal computer. I have to then type up more of what I have written and edit. Thanks to a wonderful friend that I have had since college, I have another pair of eyes to help edit. So it's still a while off, but want it out there to gain some notice so it can be published. Living in a small town with no literary agents and 1 publisher that is one you pay them to publish your work, it's going to take more then the book being finished and being good to get it out there so I am counting on all you cyber people to spread the word and make this girls dream come true.

Working on completeing my resolution

I know it's been a long time since I posted a blog. So many things have changed and are still in the process of changing that no time to update about that. What I did want to update is the fact that I'm working on a book and want to get it published. What I am going to do, as it's still a work in progress, is post a bit and see what kind of reactions I get or suggestions. Hopefully if anyone who reads this finds it interesting and passes it along to someone who can get it published I'll be grateful. So here it is :

                                                               

                                                               Chapter One

Troy Noble was on his way home from his job as a landscaper, and he let his mind wander to what was tonight – his ten year high school reunion. Tonight his life was going to change forever; he was going to make sure it did. He had a plan. As he was thinking over this plan, Troy arrived home.  He had just gotten off from work and was grimy from the day’s labors so he hopped into the shower to clean up, revealing a very tanned and muscular body from many days working outdoors. When he was finished and had dried off, he put his mind to picking out the outfit he would wear tonight. He stood with a towel wrapped around his waist in front of his closet. After careful consideration of his wardrobe, Troy chose a black suit with an emerald green button down dress shirt. He knew from past experience the shirt would bring out the green of his eyes and that the suit was cut just right to show off the muscular build of his body to perfection. As he was getting dressed, he let his thoughts wander to the reunion again as he sat on the edge of his bed, pulling on his pants. He couldn't believe that it was tonight. He had waited eight years for this night. It was eight years ago when the women he loved and wanted to marry walked out of his life for what could possibly be forever – Tess. Just the thought of her name, let alone the fact he was going to see her tonight, sent his mind off to never-never land. The phone rang, snapping his mind back to the present.

"Hello" he said a little rougher then he intended.

The voice on the other end belonged to his friend Joe. Knowing what tonight was, Joe wanted to check on his friend. "Troy" Joe said, "How are you doing?"

"Fine" Troy said.

"Just fine?" Joe asked, knowing his friend was lying. "Nervous about tonight?" Joe asked.

"No" Troy said, then paused "Yes," he admitted reluctantly.

 "Don't worry – things will work out great. Tess and you were meant to be together. I've been listening to you talk about her since we've been in school together,” Joe said, being supportive of his friend’s plans for the night.

"Thanks." Troy said. "I needed that boost of confidence".

"You’re welcome."

"I have to finish getting ready,” Troy said. “I’m running late."

"Ok, then I’ll talk to you later. Let me know what happens."

"I will,” Troy said. “Goodbye, Joe."

"Goodbye," Joe replied.

When Troy hung up the phone, he finished getting dressed and assessed his appearance in the mirror.. The suit was a far cry from the jeans and tee-shirts he used to wear in high school. Not bad, he thought. He just hoped Tess would think so too. Tonight he had to look just right.

As he left his house to drive to the reunion his mind wandered back to Tess. Tess was the girl he had been in love with since sixth grade. However, as is typical with boys his age, he didn’t know how to express those feelings, so he teased her. He actually thought he had lost her when he teased her so much in ninth grade that she would run anytime she saw him. Things looked up for him in eleventh grade when she offered him a pen when no one else would. He was determined to get back into her good graces because he still liked her, so he made sure that he returned it promptly. That did it for her. After that when they saw each other she would at least say “hi” to him. Things really changed for them in their senior year of high school. They had first period class together. During this time he would flirt with her by making the chair in front of him push against the one that was behind her making her chair move so she would have to notice him. During some of this time she had a boyfriend and watching her walk into class a little breathless and her lips kiss-swollen killed him. He wanted to be the one who left her like that. There wasn't anything he could do about the boyfriend, but he could always flirt. Things really heated up when she and her boyfriend broke up. He saw her upset one day as she came into class, and it nearly broke his heart. He laid low with the flirting and listened to her talking to her friend to find out what happened. They broke up!!! He couldn’t believe his luck. After that he stepped up the flirting. One day he was pushing on her chair like always, and she didn't turn around to flash him a smile like she always did, so he kept pushing on the chair till it was nearly out the door. That day the teacher caught him because of her chair being so far up from where it normally was. It was embarrassing when the teacher brought it up in front of the whole class. She was so unbelievably sexy when she blushed, he thought, remembering that day fondly.

As his drive to the reunion came to a dead stop in rush hour traffic, his mind continued to focus on Tess. Now he remembered ever better times that he spent with her at college when he spent time with her before and between classes. He still remembered the first time he saw her sitting outside the library with the sun glistening off the natural blond highlights in her hair. She looked like an angel. Then when she flashed him that smile of hers he felt as if he had the air knocked out of him. He had to struggle to not trip as he walked passed her. When he came back out of the building, and she was still there, looking so good, he had to get closer. As he got closer he could see what his coming over was doing to her. He could tell that she was nervous, but she acted cool. From then on they spent days like that no matter what the weather. They even spent time sitting in his truck talking. It seemed so easy and natural with Tess. However, the only catch to this comfy situation between them was now he had a girlfriend and she didn't have a boyfriend.

Then, not long before he was due to graduate, she met somebody. She had switched majors, but she was still going to the same school. From then on he didn't see her anymore. Every once in awhile he would happen to drive passed her house. She would sometimes be outside when he passed by. When she was, he would either beep or, when he was bold enough, stop by and talk with her in his car. Other than those times he didn't see her. The last he knew, she was leaving town to get her bachelor’s degree.

The last time he saw her was at a local restaurant. He was meeting quickly with his father to be introduced to a prospective client. As he was walking to meet them, he saw her sitting with a woman he knew was her mother and two other women he didn't know. He flashed her a big smile and she did the same. When his meeting was over, he went over to her table to greet her. She invited him to stop by her house sometime because she was back in town for good, but he never saw her again because he knew if he did, he would have to tell her how he felt and he couldn’t do that. His family wouldn’t be happy with him for breaking an unspoken promise to marry Cristina. So instead he had to forget Tess’s invitation to stop by and information that she was back in town for good.

Thinking back on those days warmed his heart. It was those carefree days that led to when he really fell in love with the bewitching woman that captured his heart so early on. Then he thought back to the day when his mother showed him the Sunday paper engagement section and asked him, "Don't you know this woman?" He started to argue with her stating that he wouldn't know anyone who was getting married, but then his heart skipped a beat when he saw that familiar smile looking back at him with another man with his arms around her. That was the worst day in his life. Since then he had been keeping tabs on her. He knew where she was living and where she was working, but he never tried to see her again. He knew his plan for tonight was a little bold and that he was risking a lot, but he also knew that it would work like a charm and win him the woman he loved.

With that final thought, Troy pulled into the parking lot of the restaurant where the reunion was being held. He locked his car and got out into the hot summer night. He strolled to the door, went inside and found the room where the reunion was. He walked over to the sign-in booth where he ran into Mary, a friend from school who recognized him right away.

"Troy," she said. "How nice to see you!”

"Nice to see you too," Troy replied and took his name tag from Mary. Then he walked further into the room.

He scanned the room and saw the familiar faces of his former classmates, searching for one in particular. He was nervous that she wasn't going to show tonight. That would be just his luck, he thought as he walked over to the bar. He ordered a drink and as he took it from the bartender, he turned and saw her. The sight of her took his breath away. He took a swig of his drink to steady his nerves. Tess looked just as he remembered. He gathered his nerve and walked over to where Tess stood talking to her friends. Tess had her back to him and didn't see him approaching.

When he was standing right behind her he said, "Hello, Tess."

At the sound of his voice, Tess turned around and saw Troy standing before her.