Crap !

That is the word that sums up this day for me. Had day off and was going to finish decorating for the holiday. What a joke! Earlier this week the lights I put up in the covered indoor porch didn't go well and still haven't figured out those yet. Today the lights for the tree once I went around it what felt like a million times don't work. Now the storm that was supposed be winding down is finally actually hitting us and really hope that it ends in time to not be terrible getting to work. My husband got to work from home today due to the pending storm, but now looks like it should have been tomorrow that we both were home, not today. I just feel defeated. Every time I think I am going to give/get a good holiday, the worse it gets. I so want to have those feel good holidays like I had growing up and see on tv. I know those arn't true to form and no one can live up to them most of the time, but I want it anyway. My husband and I both long for those holidays when things seemed simpler. To be honest I just wish for help. One of the things I remember about growing up is that the whole family helped decorate for the holiday, not just one person. Yes Mom did most of it, but Dad cut down the tree, put up the lights outside with help from my brother, and put the lights on the tree and took care of it. That was before we got a artificial tree. Still he did the lights and got all the decorations for my Mom and us kids to put up. Last year I got some help with getting the decorations down and out, but that was it. I still had to put everything up and I had to do the porch lights myself. Why I could get them to work last year and not this year is still bothering me. Though I did those on my own I still has issued with some sections of lights not working and needed help from Dad with, but still. I am trying hard not to have to use him all the time for help because I know there will be time when he won't be able to or won't be around at all. I want to be able to do these things on my own. Where some husbands will go on latters and put up light mine won't. Unfortunately I am to short to carry the big later we have by myself and even though it's tall enough, the rungs are the narrow kind that make me feel unsteady so I don't like climbing it, even though I don't have issues with heights. So trying to stick to just the porch lights that I can do myself and it seems even though they all work (YAY) I can't get the one situation figured out to be able to turn them on.

The other issue is that whatever cold I had a few weeks ago that only went away for a week and now came back is not helping things. Also my husband has not been feeling well in a different way and is being a pain about trying to decorate and is making me not in the mood for this holiday at all on top of these other things that have gone wrong. Don't get me wrong, it's not like I am trying to say my husband hasn't done anything, he just shoved us out and will probably do it again in the morning. He also worked all day and couldn't help when I was trying to do things. It's just that he wouldn't have if he hadn't been. It wouldn't have even occurred to him to ask if I needed it. That's the part that gets me. When he knew things weren't working with the lights he could have offered to drive me to the store during his lunch and get some new ones. Even if he had, getting back to the simpler times when we did these things separately with our family's growing up, we each did the tree as a whole family. We never do ours together. I have some specialty ornaments that are mine, he has some that our his and we have some that just the run of the mill regular ornaments. I put all of these on the tree and leave space for his and when he gets around to putting them on in the wee hours of the am when he's up and active on a weekend or before he goes to work. It's never really together and that's what I miss most.