waiting

Hey all !!

      I am trying to be patient and let the doc office get back to me, but don't know if I'm succeeding. Yesterday being a day off (finally) for me turned into taking care of a bunch of things. I was excited and proud of myself (at little anyway) for getting all this stuff done and getting to have lunch with my Sis, whom I haven't seen in a while. Of course the stuff turned into a disaster as almost everything I picked up at the store wasn't right or deemed not good enough for some reason or another. So after being belittled and made to feel that I was stupid for not knowing that what I was getting was wrong, an attempt to apologize just kind of  feel flat. So not in the best of moods and really hope the medicine I seem to need right now gets approved and I get it soon.

Feeling annoyed

Hey All


        Feeling annoyed today. Had a back and forth with my Doctors office. All I am wanting is them to leave me a script for a medication I already had been on and want to get back on for awhile. I also want a blood work order to test my levels. As 2 of the big reasons they say I might be having the hair loss issue is stress and off levels for hormones. Put off going in for overtime in case can get the info and still don't have an answer. May have one on Thursday, but I want it before then.

Making the best of it

Hey All,

       Tried to post this last night, but blogger wasn't cooperating. I made use of the quiet Sunday afternoon after attending Mass. I typed up the first chapter of the Susan and Mark story, as they wouldn't get out of my head until I did:-D I also worked on typing up some of the Tess and Troy story. Didn't get too much on that, but 3 pages on the first. So over all not a lot done, but made use of the time to make sure I got something done.

finally

Hey All !!!


           Finally felt up to posting something. Also finally had something to post about too. On a professional note, my horoscope couldn't have been more right yesterday. It said something about being creative and giving into that side of myself as it wouldn't be ignored. No soon then maybe an hour after reading that did it come true. I was walking down the sidewalk in front of my office, on my way in, when an idea popped into my head and wouldn't let go. It just gripped me and was all consuming .  Thank goodness the day started off slow (which for getting paid per call and doing an hour of overtime wasn't good) as I got to write the idea down in rough format. For this book there is research to be done, but haven't figured out details yet. Though I can introduce you to the new characters taking center stage. Meet Mark Hartman and Susan Delaney. Mark is a fireman and Susan is a office assistant in an office building across from Mark's firehouse. That's all I can tempt you with regarding this new development. It's too new to share more as the characters haven't given me much yet.

         On a personal note, I am sad. Have been for awhile, which is why things haven't been worked on and no blog postings. Yesterday I had a hair appointment anyway, but had to cut my hair short and am not too thrilled with having to do so. Not saying it looks bad, or that my hairdresser did a bad job on it. I just never wanted to go back to having short hair again. However, the thinning of it has progressed to the point that if I didn't it wouldn't look good. I have been hating my hair because of this and not wanting to wake up in the morning to have to deal with trying to play around with it so it didn't look like I had an issue. Which on top of the other stresses added more which compounded the issue. I have to call the doc office on Monday and get script for anti-anxiety med again. Hate to have to take meds for things I should be able to deal with, but apparently my body is telling me I am not dealing with things as well as I thought so if I don't want to be bald and hating myself even more, I have to do what I have to do for ME. I know it's vain to worry about such a trivial thing like hair, but when you are a women, it plays am important role in feeling feminine and pretty. If you don't feel it then everything else suffers. Believe me I haven't felt pretty in awhile. Even now, though my husband likes the new do, I don't feel feminine or pretty. I feel better that at least it looks ok for public outings and work, but other then that not thrilled with this whole development. Hopefully I can report some better changes and with those changes, the urge to be creative again will be back. Got to admit the little spark of it yesterday felt great for the time it lasted.

mixed bag

Hi all !!


Got some good news today from the doc. Was a little worried about something I found and made and apt to check it out and all is well. So on that note, the time off I took to make the doc apt was used to.. Ready for this.. WRITE !!!! That's write all, I was writing again. More accurately, I was typing up what was already written. That is to say except one scene that hadn't been written by hand. I decided to add a little something else personal into the story. So now my first sex scene between Tess and Troy has been written and an extra touch of something personal was added. Can't wait to get more involved again in my writing. I forget how freeing and soothing it can be. As today started out as a cloudy day, I had decided to make the most of the time I had off by making sure what was missing in my story, as mentioned in a previous post my story all of a sudden didn't have the correct amount of pages. All it was is that it was double spaced. I have a lot more to go, but doing what I did today felt great. I missed my characters. I missed being involved with them and having them talk in my head telling me I need this to be in there. Tess was stubborn and insisted that the scene I wrote today had to be in there and Troy was equally stubborn and insisted he felt this was about it and if I made it any different, he wasn't going to cooperate with me later. I had the same thing happen with the ex-husband character Dave. When I was writing the scene where he comes into play, he insisted on a larger role then I had planed for him. Even now, he's talking to me telling me I have to hurry and get to the part that includes him again and is insisting LOUDLY that I have to have him do something I wasn't planing on happening. So as you can see, my characters are welcoming me back into their world and want stage time and want what they want. Hopefully this book will end the way I had intended, but with they way these guys are going, I can't count on it. I already had the story ending in mind just as I had the beginning. They came fully formed. Hopefully no one involved has a problem with it, cuz I would really hate to end it differently. Though Dave is arguing with me that he doesn't like how it ends for him. Even though I didn't plan on this being a series or even being told in two books, I can see how that could happen and with how they are leading me, I might just have to play around in Tess and Troy's world a little longer. Anita, another character of mine is telling me I need to get back to her story soon, as that IS supposed to be a series of who knows how many books.

To top all that off, I found I could still take the trip I wanted to take, but going by myself and other situations still make me hesitate. Though of course right now I can't decide. So with too many possibilities to ponder this evening, I leave you on the high note that Tess and Troy haven't left me and can't wait to share their story with you all. 

Disappointed once again

Hi All !!

Well I might have been heading to London for my first ever Harry Potter conference. However, as my husband was considering sending me, things turned up on the home front that wouldn't allow the cost really. Then he would have liked to go @ the same time to go to war hammer stuff while I was doing my thing. Though the conference is around his birthday and would be what he would like to do, obligations to see his Father and time constraints to see his friends around that time too didn't fit in with making it fees able. One of the disappointments of not being able to go is that it had been closed out for so long and was a flagship attempt to see how it would go over being overseas. My niece had told me about it and had said it was closed out. When they opened up more spots for a fleeting moment I was almost going to go, couldn't help the excitement that built up. Now, knowing that I can't go just kind of sucks. Brings back the memories of the one I was going to go to in FL that I missed out on as the decision to register was made too late and even though my niece was kind enough to wait list me without telling me, in case it didn't work out, which it didn't. I spent that vacation time painting the outside of my house and getting sunburned. So the regret of missing out on that is now mirrored by this disappointment. Was considering going to the one next year in FL as the one in Portland this year didn't interest me. Somehow I think that one is going to be a wash too. Sorry for the negative thoughts today, but that's what's on my mind this morning.

One Crazy Day

Hi All,

Today the blog is not about writing or what work I got done on my writing projects. Today's blog is personal. Today was THE craziest day I have had in a long while. 1 simple chore, wash the curtains in the house, turned into 2 trips to Home Depot and cleaning till all hours. Usually my cleaning starts around 10 or so.My husband was working ot today from home so I had to start some of it later then normal. So while waiting for him to be done, I decided a project I meant to do months ago I can do now. Everything started off fine. All the curtains came down and went into the wash and then the dryer. Meanwhile I started doing some of the other stuff on my list that wouldn't interfere with my husbands work. All is good. He leaves to do the shopping and I continue to dust the woodwork where the curtains were as it needed it. Well here's where it gets crazy. One of the mini-blinds that we have started to list to one side, saw that the sting on it was broke. Knowing I couldn't leave it like that went off the Home Depot. Got a fancy wood looking one that was more expensive (and looks great in the room I must say) and a cheep one as there was another one broke that needed replacing too, just not in a place that needed it right away. So I go and get these things and come back. Husbands already home and wondering where I had went. Critter guy was coming as we have a skunk trying to take over a woodchuck hole for a home. So all these things were all going on @ once. Then the new blind needed a new hole for bigger brackets and things so it wasn't going to be a simple replace like I had thought. So my Dad who is very handy came by to help out. He didn't bring a drill thinking we had one and not knowing if he'd even need one in the first place. Of course ours was dead. Then while charging and trying to hang the other blind that was a simple replace turned out not to be the right size. So off back to Home Depot we go. Get that fixed and Dad buys us batteries for our doorbells. Get back and fix the one blind then have to get the other one up and drill isn't charged. So finally get that up and trying putting up the curtains I took down. Oh yes there was a mishap with those as well. One set has rings one the top where they go over the rod, well one of these came off in the wash and wasn't easy to get back on, Dad figured out how. Of course all this takes all afternoon. What happened to the cleaning you ask? Well once resting with Dad once all that was over I had to finish the rest of it. Then I had to put the rest of the curtains back up. There is still 1 thing left to do and I am not sure I want to do it, but my husband gave me the best idea. He suggested to take a bath and relax after I finish. I SO think I am going to do so.It sounds like heaven right about now. So night all, off to finish the last chore and take my bath.

Slow week :-(

Hi All !!

       Sorry to have to report this, but it's been a slow week for writing :-(   I know I am as upset as you all are. Just a little frustrated that my pda still hasn't worked well with windows 7 and can't seem to find a driver that works. I may be tied to my computer once again to finish all the typing up and writing the end of the story of Tess and Troy. I am also debating adding more to the flashbacks that occur in the beginning of the story. Those are the real parts of the story, the rest is just part wishful thinking and part fantasy. Though as in all good writing, enough of the truth in the flashbacks makes the story more believable and drag you into the lives of the characters. Can't wait for you all to see the whole thing and for it be available. Working on it slowly, but surely. My dream will NOT be defeated.    

More set backs/acknolgements

Hi All !!!

      Well another set back to the pda/computer and writing situation. My new computer (which I am loving btw) is not playing nice with the pda. I am trying hard not to freak as I am trying to get my work done and not able to upload to my computer what I have already got done this past week. I know I can use my computer and not the pdfa over the weekend, but really need to get my work uploaded. Trying to figure out what the issue is and fix it. Also making time to make sure all my files from my old computer have been uploaded to the new one to make sure before giving it to my sister I don't lose anything. Even though sleep study this week caused a set back in work the day after, was able to get more done that night and the rest of the week.

      The acknowledgement I mentioned came from my hairdresser. Now I know she's also being nice for wanting to keep a customer, however, her acknowledgment of liking my work was treasuring. I had mentioned to her about my working on the novel and having her do my hair for the author photo for the jacket (someday) and she had said she wanted to read it. I had my pda with me when I had my hair appointment so let her read some of it. She would have liked to read more, but my hair was drying too quickly for her to get too far, but she had said she really liked what she got to read. She told me I was really good. That means a lot. She didn't have to say she liked it or the other nice things she said. She could have just said it was nice and moved on, but had complimented it thoroughly and asked questions. I am glad I showed her. Her compliments meant a lot to me as I am I am usually totally embarrassed when some one reads my work in front of me. Especially if I am not sure if people will like it.

      On a personal note, too much rain has caused my area to be flooded and I thank God the little wetness in my basement was the worst we suffered. Others fared not as well and I pray that they get back to normal as soon as possible. Can't wait till the rest of my work for the day is done so I can continue with my writing. More house work to do :-(    That's what I get for slacking during the week.

Have no fear

Hi All !

I have been doing some typing up for what's been written already. Haven't had a chance to get it all done, but doing ok on it. While one was drying out, the other is the one I was working on. Hopefully now that new computer is up and running I'll get the sync on my pda to work again and will not loose the stuff I've been doing. Had some ideas forming for characters that haven't showed themselves yet in the Reunion novel. Can't wait to get it finished already !!!

Getting used to change

Hi all !!

       Well my new computer is here!!!. My wonderful husband has spent the weekend uploading all my files from my old one to my new one. Spending hours waiting for all the updates to windows when first installed. It's taking a lot of getting used to. My husband has listened to me bitch about the fan lighting up when I had one that didn't before and a different feel the the keyboard, but has put up with it all and has made my new computer workable and carrying all my old files so it would feel as much like my old one as possible.

      On top of that, I got to spend a wonderful Friday evening out with friends I haven't spent time with in awhile. I was glad to have been able to do that and work on my new computer. Between those two things, so far this weekend has been great, even if filled with headaches and hot, humid weather. 

On Reading and update on writing.

Hi all !!

     Well you might have read that one of the books I am currently reading is Tess of the D'Urbervilles by Thomas Hardy. It's taken me forever to get through about half the book. Not that it's not good, but it's heavy. I can only read about 5 or so pages before my brain is used up (or it feels that way anyway). Let me give a little bit of background. I choose to read this because when I ready 50 shades of Gray, the characters in that book mention it. I having never read it and want to be well read, decided I was going to read it.

      In 50 shades of Gray, Ana receives 3 first editions of this book from Christian. When they are leading up to having sex for the first time, Ana chooses debasement, as if Christian is Alec and not Angel. In 50 shades Darker, Ana brings up again that Christian has gone from Alec to Angel. However, in the part of the book I am now in, I don't see that as a good thing. Up to this point you hate Alec and love Angel. Angle has now turned into a character I am not liking anymore. He may redeem himself further in the novel, but at this moment I don't even want to continue reading. How can he tell his new wife that he spent 48 hours basically whoring with a women, then turn around and tell her he doesn't love her any more for confessing what would be considered rape in today's time? Tess even points out that he was confessing to sex before marriage and she was doing the same, but for some reason her offense (if you can even call it that) is worse then his as he couldn't see it coming and can't look at her the same. Now I know back then being a virgin on your wedding night was very important. Not saying that it shouldn't be in today's time either( even though harder to do and more unlikely), however what I am saying that it is so horrible to read about the double standard still occurring. It was ok for him to confess his affair, but when Tess confesses her rape, he's got a problem. He kind of has forgiven her at the point I got to now, but I was so disgusted with his character I really didn't want to read anymore.


     Now onto my writing part of this blog :-D I made a big mess of things. First of all I spilled coffee (not intentionally, the cup was supposed to be closed !!) all over my notebook. So it's been drying out the last few days. The other is that as I was waiting for it to dry out, again the batteries dies in my pda and when I finally got that issue corrected, I found that the word program I was using was only a trial run because I didn't use the key and registration # that (duh Mel!!) was right on the back of the cd when I first installed the program. So I had to go through all that to get the word docs back into that program and then update the pda about 3 times just to get them back to where I can type again once the notebook dries out. Thank goodness I didn't go any overtime tonight. Still got to now go run around and shower and maybe make some popcorn for a snack, but at least I know my stuff will be waiting for me tomorrow !!!

writing and things

Hey all !!

        I keep seeing how busy the printing/publishing company, that I plan to use to print my book, is on my way into work. I cheer every time I see how many cars are parked in front, as not always all employees are there. Lately they have been very busy and @ least 1 person is still working past 6:45 all last week. This excites me as long as they stay busy they won't be another business closed here. This also gets me pumped to keep working on mine book so they can have that work to do :-D

       Got a lot of typing to do and I have to finish writing the story, but working on it everyday and am glad I still have the motivation to do so. I want this so bad !!! I don't think since I wanted to get married to my husband have I wanted something so bad. It feels just as right as agreeing to be his wife did at the time. I just hope like that this turns out to have positive affects like getting married did. I do know that trusting that God always has a plan for you helps. This feels like HIS plan for me. I am getting the same feeling from it as I got when something kept me from taking the job offer out of state and away from my family. I just found out the other day that the company just gave everyone their 90 day notice. If I had taken that job I would be stuck in a year lease at my apartment with no job to pay the $800 rent. Something felt off about taking that job when it was offered and I am glad I listened to it and took the job I did take. So if this feeling about the book turns out as the feeling about not taking that job did then I think I'll be in good shape. Please keep the good wishes coming. Please keep up visiting the blog and POST COMMENTS !!

Writing update

    I just thought that an update on my writing would be good. I finally found what was keeping my progress down for the past week. When I was syncing up my pda and computer they were somehow overriding each other. There was more then 1 version so the updates I was doing would be there, but the version that would come back on my pda was the older one. So last week I was typing up, trying to make up for lost time from the holiday weekend, and I was still loosing ground re-typing the same thing day after day. As I caught this and stopped typing till I fixed it, I finally got it fixed this weekend. So far it's been working great again. Though I did notice the page count can't be right. As it was over 60 pages before and now showing 30 coming. I have to view the document on my computer and make sure that it's not missing something and then make sure it's double spaced and all that. Most important that it just isn't missing any pages or info that I want it to have. The page count is less important. The other thing that is nice is that as I was fixing why I had more then 1 version of my book on my computer, I was going through old files and movies on my computer to clear some more space and ended up with my husband ordering me a new computer. It's been almost 7 years since I've had a new one and this one is just getting slow and bogged down. So that update will be going on soon. Looking forward to it.

Family

Hi all

   Well my family surprised me this weekend. My parents called out of the blue to invite my husband and I out to dinner on Sat. I know it was for our anniversary that was going to be on Sunday, but still. Also they surprised me by being observant and stating that I have lost weight. I know I have as doc appointments have told me so at weigh in. It's just nice to know others are seeing the change as well. My husband surprised me on our Anniversary as he bought me the most beautiful Roses !! I wasn't expecting us to even do anything, but he did do that which was nice.

   I also went to visit my Grandmother's grave as it would have been her 93rd birthday yesterday. I had tried to honer her by getting married on her birthday, but it was nice to go visit her grave for a short time to honer her that way too. So it was a nice weekend and hopefully doc appointment will go well.  

UPDATE:  the doc appt went very well. Scar that I thought I wouldn't be able to do anything about is now being taken care of. Poison Ivy questions for the skin was answered. I am thrilled to have had to go to this appt.

Pet Peeve Rant

hi all !!

      I am sorry to subject to all to rants or fit of peek, but on top of what's going on personally, my work has been getting on my nerves as well. So to possibly help with the recent frustration, I am going to post about it.So here it goes. If you call a customer service #, be prepared to give what is asked of you so they can pull up the account. Don't say I don't have my account # or I don't have any of my paper work with me. If you are not prepared, the call just takes longer to get through. 2nd, please don't call in if you are not going to be able to talk the moment a representative comes on the line. Which means as soon as someone picks up you don't ask them to hold to answer another phone or talk to someone else. It ESPECIALLY means don't call when you are placing a lunch order at a fast food place. We don't want to hear what you or your kids are going to be eating. 3rd, don't argue with the person over verification of phone or address info. The more you argue over having to do it, the longer it takes to get to the point of why you were calling. Last but not least no back story about old phone or address info. If you are told that the phone or address provided isn't the one the representative is seeing on the screen, please use the brains God gave you to think back to an old address or phone, without saying you haven't lived there in 10 years or changed your phone # so often that you don't remember. 

    Now these are not all, but the most recent peeves that have been coming up at work and just have had me say "oh my God" during or after most calls. I know some of it was that I haven't slept well the last few nights. Now that I am getting proper rest again, I am trying to get my peek under control, but the constant reminder of how dumb people can be is just grating on me and can't take it much more. Please people try and be understanding that the person on the phone wasn't the one you spoke to that pissed you off that made you call back and don't take it out on them. Please be prepared to talk to a person with the correct info to have them help you in the fastest way possible. Remember more and more these people are getting paid per call and can't not afford to listen to you order your lunch, listen to back stories that have nothing to do with helping with the bill you are calling about. I could be earning so much more money if people would just be prepared, listen the first time I say something so I don't have to repeat the  same info 3 or more times, and if they would not ramble. So please keep these things in mind the next time you have to call into some place for assistance.

Writing and Reading

Hi all !

    Just wanted to give an update on my writing project. Almost made up the ground I lost when I made that foolish mistake of not syncing up my pda with my computer. So a irritating set back yes, but rectified with just a little irritation on my part.

    Other thing that's been going on is that the local library stated a hold I placed came in. In a weird turn of events, they only had books 1-3 and 5 in a series that has @ least 7 plus a couple of novellas. I, of course, being onto the book in the series they didn't have and the one called in was the next one. By doing some thinking on it over the past weekend, I found a pdf version of the one I needed and was tied to my computer to read it. Of course I was hoping to finish my last library book before having to go pick up the one on hold, but trying to read two books @ once didn't work out too well. I just finished the other and still have plenty left in the one I was hoping to be done with. Well two trips to the library isn't a bad thing, just hate thinking of the gas for the trip now, but hey well worth it. 

     One other thing wanted to post about. I know I mentioned about not having a local editor or literary agents available. Not that you need them these days when you can e-mail a file to someone and have the same affect. However, as my husband and I had talks, I realized something important. It pains me not to be able to share with him these ideals, but.... the idea I am having is too engrossed in my now to give up on. I want to have my book be so popular that, once using the local pay to have published printer/publisher, I have the money to buy the building the printer.publisher is housed in, use some of the office space that's available to create a editor/agent office primarily for local artists, but wanting/willing to expand. I want to use the printer/publisher still to print the books or whatnot either I or someone in my office edits and says it's fit to print. Also need agents to champion these works. As I think more on this idea the more it sounds like what I would love to be doing and hope to do.

    So once again I ask for help from my audience. If you feel these are worthy goals to have and want to support them coming to light, please continue to read this blog and support my kickstart once I have it set up. As that would be the way I would more likely earn the donations to get my book published and earn enough from that to be able to make these other new goals even come close to fruition. Please support the goals of 1 person who's trying to improve her life and do what would make her happy now that she finally knows what that is.

Getting fixed

Hi all,

   I started yesterday getting back the work that I lost over the holiday weekend. Not all recovered, but well on it's way to being back on track. Still extremely upset with myself for letting such a stupid thing happen. The fact that it's set me back some is disheartening, though I am trying not to let myself fall into a ball of dis pare, as set backs like this past one is what's stopped me from finishing the project sooner. If I let this latest one take back all of my earlier progress this year, I will never complete this project. I am too determined to finish it this time around that I WILL NOT allow set backs of my stupidity or others keep me from completing my novel.

    I drive by the one publishing company every day and long for the time I know they are printing out my work. I see the empty office space in same said building, and think of what I would like to do with it and turn it into, if this book became the success I hope it does. These are the dreams, wishes and hopes that I foresee and hold out for. There are some who say that I may not have a large scope of ambition or for seeing past the things right in front of me to really see how things are. That is not so. I just have a different way of going about how I see things and have different ambitions. They may be simple, as I am a simple person, but they are my hopes, wishes and dreams and NO ONE or ANYTHING is going to keep me from obtaining them.

    So for now I leave you all to shower and get out of my sweaty cleaning the house stuff. I also leave you to continue on with my working towards my goals that are my own to fulfill.      

Angry Writer

Hi all !

     This writer is ANGRY !! Not at anything, but herself. She had a chance to type up some stuff today during her lunch, but had an issue with the batteries and not being able to save what was typed today. Not even stuff that was typed up over the weekend that I posted about. Hadn't gotten a chance to sync it to my computer. Now I lost everything and have to re-due everything I had done. I am so frustrated with myself. I hate re-doing work I had already done. It's just a waste in my eyes. I just hate myself when something this stupid happens that I could have prevented. Oh well back to the work. Got to make up for all this lost progress I had made :-(

Writing

Hi all !!

       Yes it was a holiday weekend, but what better time to make use of not having to go into my steady job to get some writing done?? Answer none. So this holiday weekend this writer actually did work. Worked on typing up more of Reunion and typed up one other story tentatively titled Alone.  I did not get as much typed up as I hoped, but every little bit brings me closer. I also worked on ideas for my kickstart for when the time comes. Got to make some calls soon regarding out of pocket costs to see what amount my kickstart would have to be. Hope to have all your support once it goes up !!